Thank you, Aly, for sharing your experience with such a personal area. I would like to add one note for the single women trying to correct their attraction instincts: hormonal birth control (The Pill) actively messes up you natural hormone balance and will skew your attraction towards less masculine men. Most if not all health problems the Pill is prescribed to fix have other solutions. If for no other reason get off the Pill.
I’m not Christian, and although in this article, god and Christianity were mentioned a few times, I think this is a great article, including the sort of advice I’ll give to my daughter when she reaches her late teens.
As I’ve discussed here before, all my teenage years and early 20’s were in the the latchkey-kid 90s and aughts respectively. The sexual decisions of these women were ABOMINABLE.
"a man on a mission of physical greatness would avoid most women in the gym."
Oh, I have an anectode from the last week or so about this. Without getting into the details I engaged in what I thought was a courteous behavior was made to instantly regret it.
Also this lady is in an age group which is frequently made fun of on this Substack. I don't want reality to be this way it just is.
I'm really sorry to hear that. :/ It's really hard to approach women in the gym unless you're super vain and hot and she is too. It's like you have to have a level of "headassery" to do it. Utter nonsense.
No, I wasn't approaching her! It was group fitness and we were all supposed to get a piece of gym equipment from a certain location--a rubber band. I fumbled with mine for a sec while she was right behind me, and I felt that it would be impolite if I didn't hand her one too, so I did it.
Her response was to tell me in an annoyed voice that actually she wanted a different color/size. But then she went ahead and worked out with the one I handed her.
In my mind it would be normal to just say "thanks, I'm gonna get the other one instead!" and then grab that. Up to that point I was feeling guilty for maybe being too aloof towards the people around me due to stereotypes in my head from being terminally online, but it turns out reality is actually that way.
Well, I was certainly emotionally devastated by the entire thing, so much so that I cried myself to sleep that night. But the next day I watched 6 hours of Andrew Tate's masculinity content and that helped me pull myself together and refocus on my masculine grind.
Once again, after reading a piece from you...there is so much content I find myself unable to pick a section and comment on it! Subscribing to your feed was a good decision...Thank you!
I’m wondering what you think about who approaches who. I like to ask seemingly happily married elders how they met, and the husband always starts with, I saw her, then asked her out.
I think I was given the bad advice as a teenager from adults that had drunk the feminist koolaid that I as the female could initiate dating. My experience is that it kills any potential romance. And from my research into traditional courtship, it is vital for the man to man up enough to risk asking the girl he likes out.
Asking out yes, but you as a woman can give a green light letting him know he’s ok to escalate engagement with you. Whether a smile or a greeting to initiate conversation, or ask for directions, etc
In Victorian times women used to drop their handkerchief in sight of a man they wanted to be approached by so as to give him an excuse to pick it up, be a gentleman and spark a conversation. If he didn’t pursue beyond picking it up she had the deniability needed that she wasn’t being too forward and just innocently happened to drop her handkerchief. Women nowadays have no such game at all, to the detriment of everyone involved. And that’s before factoring in MeToo.
“Most virgin Christian men don’t have women looking at them, and because of this, it’s pretty easy to save themselves for marriage. “
As long as hookers exist - and boy howdy, do they ever - this is flat false.
Any man, Christian or not, who’s a virgin, at some level wants more than sex. It disgusts me that so many men have internalized the misandrist idea that that fact makes them a “loser” or “incel”.
The flip side of this is the sad situation that purity culture has produced in young men and women, where in the effort to avoid premarital sex has resulted in repressed sexuality that most commonly finds an outlet in pornography for men and erotica for women.
An excellent essay, but I am a little confused. In the first section, you suggest in several places that you dated Man B (e.g. “the less he did, the more I picked up his slack” in paragraph 10), yet in paragraph 9 you say that “he didn’t approach me” and imply that you were not, in fact, in a sexual relationship. Was this then a purely platonic connection?
The sad thing is when a woman is in a bad place spiritually—does not imply her life is a mess tbh—and that true moment of connection occurs and you basically feel like spiritual mountains are moving and converging as you feel a wind lead you to her and she’s such a control freak and so stuck in fear and sin that she shuts down. Soon you’re getting weird text messages from her or whatever trying to make up for it while pretending she has no spirit so you can’t even talk about the real issue. I’m 42. When these instances happened, I often blamed myself. Now I know. All of these women are divorced, single or have had children out of wedlock. They hate themselves but they are such good liars. The only people who’ve seen the real them are the men who saw them hide like Eve in the garden upon realizing she was naked. They act like they’re empowered women but the truth is that men are #1 in their lives and not the Lord. That disorder messes up the design and ruins their lives but they love their sin and carry it around with them, cuddling and nurturing it instead of their own children sometimes. I mean no condemnation in stating this. It’s a tragedy tbh. It’s heart breaking if you stare at it too long.
Thank you, Aly, for sharing your experience with such a personal area. I would like to add one note for the single women trying to correct their attraction instincts: hormonal birth control (The Pill) actively messes up you natural hormone balance and will skew your attraction towards less masculine men. Most if not all health problems the Pill is prescribed to fix have other solutions. If for no other reason get off the Pill.
I was on birth control with Man B, and I was off of it with Man A. I do not think this was a coincidence, lol.
I’m not Christian, and although in this article, god and Christianity were mentioned a few times, I think this is a great article, including the sort of advice I’ll give to my daughter when she reaches her late teens.
As I’ve discussed here before, all my teenage years and early 20’s were in the the latchkey-kid 90s and aughts respectively. The sexual decisions of these women were ABOMINABLE.
"a man on a mission of physical greatness would avoid most women in the gym."
Oh, I have an anectode from the last week or so about this. Without getting into the details I engaged in what I thought was a courteous behavior was made to instantly regret it.
Also this lady is in an age group which is frequently made fun of on this Substack. I don't want reality to be this way it just is.
I'm really sorry to hear that. :/ It's really hard to approach women in the gym unless you're super vain and hot and she is too. It's like you have to have a level of "headassery" to do it. Utter nonsense.
No, I wasn't approaching her! It was group fitness and we were all supposed to get a piece of gym equipment from a certain location--a rubber band. I fumbled with mine for a sec while she was right behind me, and I felt that it would be impolite if I didn't hand her one too, so I did it.
Her response was to tell me in an annoyed voice that actually she wanted a different color/size. But then she went ahead and worked out with the one I handed her.
In my mind it would be normal to just say "thanks, I'm gonna get the other one instead!" and then grab that. Up to that point I was feeling guilty for maybe being too aloof towards the people around me due to stereotypes in my head from being terminally online, but it turns out reality is actually that way.
😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬
Wooooooow. What a piece of work! You’re not the bad guy there!!!
Well, I was certainly emotionally devastated by the entire thing, so much so that I cried myself to sleep that night. But the next day I watched 6 hours of Andrew Tate's masculinity content and that helped me pull myself together and refocus on my masculine grind.
So all's well that ends well I suppose. :)
Once again, after reading a piece from you...there is so much content I find myself unable to pick a section and comment on it! Subscribing to your feed was a good decision...Thank you!
This made me tear up a bit. Thank you, Aly. You are saving real lives with your wisdom. I am the luckiest follower.
I’m wondering what you think about who approaches who. I like to ask seemingly happily married elders how they met, and the husband always starts with, I saw her, then asked her out.
I think I was given the bad advice as a teenager from adults that had drunk the feminist koolaid that I as the female could initiate dating. My experience is that it kills any potential romance. And from my research into traditional courtship, it is vital for the man to man up enough to risk asking the girl he likes out.
Asking out yes, but you as a woman can give a green light letting him know he’s ok to escalate engagement with you. Whether a smile or a greeting to initiate conversation, or ask for directions, etc
In Victorian times women used to drop their handkerchief in sight of a man they wanted to be approached by so as to give him an excuse to pick it up, be a gentleman and spark a conversation. If he didn’t pursue beyond picking it up she had the deniability needed that she wasn’t being too forward and just innocently happened to drop her handkerchief. Women nowadays have no such game at all, to the detriment of everyone involved. And that’s before factoring in MeToo.
Hi. I've looked across your feed but can't find the answer.
Can you define/explain the polarity aspect of it all?
“Most virgin Christian men don’t have women looking at them, and because of this, it’s pretty easy to save themselves for marriage. “
As long as hookers exist - and boy howdy, do they ever - this is flat false.
Any man, Christian or not, who’s a virgin, at some level wants more than sex. It disgusts me that so many men have internalized the misandrist idea that that fact makes them a “loser” or “incel”.
The flip side of this is the sad situation that purity culture has produced in young men and women, where in the effort to avoid premarital sex has resulted in repressed sexuality that most commonly finds an outlet in pornography for men and erotica for women.
Good article. Really good.
That was well written.
"For context, the family courts will back us if we leave the marriage; we can take half his earnings and retain custody of the children."
You wonder how many men are avoiding marriage for exactly this reason. Better die free alone than as someone's slave.
An excellent essay, but I am a little confused. In the first section, you suggest in several places that you dated Man B (e.g. “the less he did, the more I picked up his slack” in paragraph 10), yet in paragraph 9 you say that “he didn’t approach me” and imply that you were not, in fact, in a sexual relationship. Was this then a purely platonic connection?
Well stop dressing like a whore
The sad thing is when a woman is in a bad place spiritually—does not imply her life is a mess tbh—and that true moment of connection occurs and you basically feel like spiritual mountains are moving and converging as you feel a wind lead you to her and she’s such a control freak and so stuck in fear and sin that she shuts down. Soon you’re getting weird text messages from her or whatever trying to make up for it while pretending she has no spirit so you can’t even talk about the real issue. I’m 42. When these instances happened, I often blamed myself. Now I know. All of these women are divorced, single or have had children out of wedlock. They hate themselves but they are such good liars. The only people who’ve seen the real them are the men who saw them hide like Eve in the garden upon realizing she was naked. They act like they’re empowered women but the truth is that men are #1 in their lives and not the Lord. That disorder messes up the design and ruins their lives but they love their sin and carry it around with them, cuddling and nurturing it instead of their own children sometimes. I mean no condemnation in stating this. It’s a tragedy tbh. It’s heart breaking if you stare at it too long.
Being the fallback guy generally sucks.
I see. You think I’m writing about me. Well, I can see that and will exit. Anyhow, great post.