TradWives aren't Virgin Brides
Does it matter? Fempill #5
A new Trad v. Red Pill debate has taken X by storm—it’s just another day in the e-neighborhood.
Red Pill internet personalities have seemingly discovered most TradWives1 are not virgin brides. *gasp* This is coming from a group that alleges a man should “Assume women are promiscuous, but not obsess,” while appearing to be obsessed… More obsessed than the husbands in traditional™️ marriages seem to be.
The debate itself is disingenuous. The Red Pill argument is that TradWives signal purity when they are not pure, and this is hypocritical of them to do. Red Pillers seem to understand that most wives who marry today are not virgin brides. I do not believe there is much merit to pointing out the obvious. Additionally, even the women who were virgin brides are admonished for having any social media presence online if they do.
There is no winning for the TradWife ensnarled in an internet debate. The goal post always moves as antagonistic content creators need perpetual engagement for financial gain. A debate taken to completion is not profitable.
The reality is that what tends to matter more for polarity is that the woman has less experience with the opposite sex than the man. This is a truth congruent with the Red Pill, whose commentators seem to have conveniently forgotten2. This concept is routinely glossed over by Red Pillers and Trads alike.
It is unwise for a woman to marry a man who has less experience than her because he will pedestalize her and it will be wildly unattractive in the long run and lay a foundation for reversed polarity (and possibly future infidelity).
The TradWives involved in these debates simply don’t want to admit one of the following:
Their husbands are former cads
Their husbands have less carnal knowledge of the opposite sex than they do.
Professing #1 would garner shame from women.
“How dare you enjoy a man who has bedded multiple women before you!”
These same outraged women have done so themselves (typically), but when they do it, they can’t secure commitment, which indicates poor mate attraction and retention skills. It’s not uncommon for women to desire a popular cad change his ways ✨ just for her ✨ so they may go on to marry and have children. It’s rather hard to negotiate, which is probably why women who cannot do so judge skillful women who are able to attract and retain a mate fitting that criterion.
Professing #2 is admitting they were more sexually indiscriminate than their husband.
Meaning, he probably wasn’t a looker or a catch. A key that opens many locks is considered a master key. A lock that can be opened by many keys is considered a crappy lock. This is not about locks and keys.
The point is, what matters for most couples who used to be sexually degenerate but aren’t anymore—which is a lot of couples today—is that the man has had sex with more women than the woman has had sex with men.
This is an inconvenient truth, but it’s there.
Chastity and sexual naivety in a woman are timelessly valuable.3
A TradWife is any woman who wears dresses, is Christian, and believes homemaking is important. Yes, the bar is that low. This is what the internet decided was Trad. The definition is based on optics alone. This is half of the problem with these debates. Container words such as “TradWife” and “Red Pill” don’t often accurately represent the individuals participating in such debates.
I’ve made my position on virgin brides and grooms clear on multiple occasions. They are wise and have my support. They made great decisions for the foundation of marriage and family.
A so-called Trad Wife isn’t traditional because of her choice of husband. It isn’t really about the husbands, at the end of the day, despite their fantasies of humble, obedient submission.
It’s about what is best for the family unit, specifically the welfare of the children and the smooth running of the household.
Meeting everyone’s needs so the family is healthy and thriving is extremely difficult with a full-time career and the skyrocketing cost of childcare that gobbles up 80%+ of each month’s salary. It’s not sustainable in most instances and it’s contrary to everyone’s best interests.
Hence the return to a more traditional approach, at least until the children are older and more independent. Being a Trad Wive is not a fashion
choice. It’s a practical necessity to ensure the raising of children is successful.
That will depend a lot on the trajectory of development of the individual children. Some kids blossom into full autonomy earlier than others, thus freeing up the mother to bring in some income from outside work. Some kids need the focused attention of a full-time caregiver (usually Mom) for longer.
The Dads may enjoy and benefit from the Trad Wife devoting herself to work at home, but it’s not really for his benefit. He has to adapt and adjust his life in a variety of ways, too, for the family to thrive. It’s about self-sacrifice for the care and nurturing of the next generation, at the end of the day.
It is - or it is supposed to be - a team effort.
Not a criticism of the article, which I think makes good points, but I want to point out the catch-22 problem.
It's similar to women all wanting a man who's better educated and makes more money than she does. Once college graduates are disproportionately female, and the "gender pay gap" is beyond eliminated, women find themselves with a significantly smaller pool of eligible men.
Same with the sexual history. If men should look for women less sexually experienceed than themselves, given that average women have much more access to sex than average men, what pool of eligible women does that leave for the 80% of men who aren't sexually attractive to average women and therefore have much less sexual opportunity and experience than 80% of women?
I guess the obvious answer is all men should get in the top 20% of both financial and sexual success. But see the issue with that? It doesn't scale. Which doesn't matter at all for the individual, but matters quite a bit to society as a whole.