I wish more women out there read you. And frankly you did change a perspective for me. That Alpha and Beta are more about feelings cultivated in the woman than actual archetypes
"It does not matter that you know so and so who got married at 30 and had babies at 33 by a man she loves and admires."
So-and-so who married at 30 got the guy in her mid to late 20s. So still, you have to get serious by 25 at the latest to have a GOOD shot at so-and-so's life because you have to allow for dating the wrong guy and starting over once or twice. There is simply no getting around that fact. It's cliche to say men don't like to date older women due to their declining beauty. That's true. But in your 30s, your beauty is still mostly intact. No, it's the RUSH to beat the fertility decline. Men do not like to be rushed. A year. You got to give most guys at least a year to feel certain about marriage. Often times it's 2-3 years. If you're 30 and single, you're not so-and-so. Hell, if you're 28 and single, you're pushing it. Move fast.
This is pretty much exactly how it worked out for me. I went through a couple failed LTRs before I met my husband at 23. Married at 27. Had our first a couple of months after I turned 30. Pregnant with our second at 32.
Securing marriage and children often takes a lot longer today than it did for our ancestors. Thinking they had all of the time in the world is why I have many friends my age who are still single and/or childless… sadly, it will be even harder for them to achieve those goals at this point and it is a very strong possibility that it will never happen.
"You may not have to choose between an attractive man and a well-provisioning man if you strategize mating with an intent to minimize risk at a younger age"
I said this before and I'll say it again. The Alpha Fucks / Beta Bucks is a projection of the Madonna/Whore Complex onto women.
As stated above, this is not the desire of women, but a necessity as rarely the two shall meet. Luckily, aasholes like me exist, to hopefully help bridge that gap and increase the availability of men with the right balance of both.
Nerd shit like tabletop or video games, traditionally “masculine” crafts like cars or woodworking, watching sports, if you have a specific guy you’re courting try doing some of that sort of stuff he likes with him, if he’s condescending about it to you find another man, and then also when you and him DO start doing the “pick me” hobby together if he also does it with his friends only join in sometimes, give him opportunities to still pursue the hobby independently
I may be too old for these things to work. But I can confirm that once I regularly started wearing long flowing skirts and grew my hair out. That guys I might want to marry me finely started approaching me.
(before that most of the men that reached out to me were basically unemployed, uneducated, and had not done any sort of hobby or started their own business that might become family supporting, they also were vocal feminists, and would kindly let me know that they would let me work, after I suggested that me being home and homeschooling the kids should be our goal.)
My family was into the Covey books when I was in highschool, and my personal life mission statement near graduation was ‘To be a stay at home homeschooling mom with 5 kids and not be dead broke.’
So at least I wasn’t one of those silly girls who doesn’t want a man, until it’s too late.
I think, the joyful element you talk about is really the lack of tension from being single. A younger women is not worried about possibly becoming a spinster. I find it annoying in some of my singles groups that the guys are always pining after the girl that just got married. I think likewise the happily married women exude that joy.
Unfortunately, the women who need to understand these facts, will not.
Thank you for reading! ❤️
I wish more women out there read you. And frankly you did change a perspective for me. That Alpha and Beta are more about feelings cultivated in the woman than actual archetypes
"It does not matter that you know so and so who got married at 30 and had babies at 33 by a man she loves and admires."
So-and-so who married at 30 got the guy in her mid to late 20s. So still, you have to get serious by 25 at the latest to have a GOOD shot at so-and-so's life because you have to allow for dating the wrong guy and starting over once or twice. There is simply no getting around that fact. It's cliche to say men don't like to date older women due to their declining beauty. That's true. But in your 30s, your beauty is still mostly intact. No, it's the RUSH to beat the fertility decline. Men do not like to be rushed. A year. You got to give most guys at least a year to feel certain about marriage. Often times it's 2-3 years. If you're 30 and single, you're not so-and-so. Hell, if you're 28 and single, you're pushing it. Move fast.
This is pretty much exactly how it worked out for me. I went through a couple failed LTRs before I met my husband at 23. Married at 27. Had our first a couple of months after I turned 30. Pregnant with our second at 32.
Securing marriage and children often takes a lot longer today than it did for our ancestors. Thinking they had all of the time in the world is why I have many friends my age who are still single and/or childless… sadly, it will be even harder for them to achieve those goals at this point and it is a very strong possibility that it will never happen.
Congratulations! Happy to see you building a family. 🙂❤️
"You may not have to choose between an attractive man and a well-provisioning man if you strategize mating with an intent to minimize risk at a younger age"
I said this before and I'll say it again. The Alpha Fucks / Beta Bucks is a projection of the Madonna/Whore Complex onto women.
As stated above, this is not the desire of women, but a necessity as rarely the two shall meet. Luckily, aasholes like me exist, to hopefully help bridge that gap and increase the availability of men with the right balance of both.
Can you give some examples of male “pick me” hobbies? I need to cultívate some. LOL
Nerd shit like tabletop or video games, traditionally “masculine” crafts like cars or woodworking, watching sports, if you have a specific guy you’re courting try doing some of that sort of stuff he likes with him, if he’s condescending about it to you find another man, and then also when you and him DO start doing the “pick me” hobby together if he also does it with his friends only join in sometimes, give him opportunities to still pursue the hobby independently
I may be too old for these things to work. But I can confirm that once I regularly started wearing long flowing skirts and grew my hair out. That guys I might want to marry me finely started approaching me.
(before that most of the men that reached out to me were basically unemployed, uneducated, and had not done any sort of hobby or started their own business that might become family supporting, they also were vocal feminists, and would kindly let me know that they would let me work, after I suggested that me being home and homeschooling the kids should be our goal.)
My family was into the Covey books when I was in highschool, and my personal life mission statement near graduation was ‘To be a stay at home homeschooling mom with 5 kids and not be dead broke.’
So at least I wasn’t one of those silly girls who doesn’t want a man, until it’s too late.
I think, the joyful element you talk about is really the lack of tension from being single. A younger women is not worried about possibly becoming a spinster. I find it annoying in some of my singles groups that the guys are always pining after the girl that just got married. I think likewise the happily married women exude that joy.
so great. I can tell this is your passion. to observe and make sense of people.
Is romance dead?
Read the history of "romance". It was essentially a flex by bored nobles. No different than luxury beliefs of celebrities today.
That is one perspective.