Recapturing Western Wifeliness

The Miseducation of Modern Women

Welcome reader! My name is Aly Drummond. I am a wife, soon-to-be mother, and a YouTuber. These are just a few identifiers to describe me and you will find out more components of my personhood, psychology, and philosophy throughout our writing and reading journey together. Currently, I provide cultural commentary through social media and have been doing so for nearly two years in an effort to bring back the nuclear and the extended family.

You can see my portfolio for that work here: https://linktr.ee/realfemsapien

You will find more often than not, while we are on our journey together here on Substack, I have a tendency to speak TO women. This does not mean I do not see or acknowledge my male readers. These men are crucial supporters, but I don’t find it’s men leaving relationships once they are in them that often… It’s usually the women who leave.

And why are they leaving? How can we help women to get married and stay married to men they are attracted to and look up to?

These are the questions I seek to answer. I have found in many conversations with singles and couples throughout my line of work that women don’t realize their power and autonomy within the context of a relationship. It seems that Western women primarily recognize their power OUTSIDE of a relationship. This perspective neglects that a good relationship can propel a woman’s life and bring her closer to self-actualization and empowerment.

This in no way means that I think women need to stay in unhealthy relationships. I ask that you please not confuse my intention of educating women. I am not trying to “force” women to stay with men through my writing as a psychological operation. I find it sad that I need to preface my work with this, but we live in times where people assume the worst in men, even the ones who love their women passionately.

The women I have spoken with who ARE happily married for 10, 20, or 30+ years always respond that they would do it all over again shamelessly, without skipping a beat. These women are fulfilled. Their lives are enriched. They chose a man they wanted immediately and long-there-after… And these women have told me their secrets, which I hope to share with you along the way.

However, it remains that given women are filing for divorce more often than men (a reference range of 65-90% of divorces filed), it is not possible that all of these divorces are filed because a man was dangerous. You will hear other reasons cited for divorce as it is recorded by US government agencies such as infidelity, finances, and irreconcilable differences. Even so, life is about tradeoffs and choices. No marriage is perfect and I have seen couples work through all of these “citations for divorce” and simply opt to stay together, relieved to have done so after the down season of the marriage has passed.

It stands to reason that, at times, women are leaving relationships for poorly constructed reasons in an effort to evade dysfunction. But, if the dysfunction continues to follow the woman as she ventures into new relationships with the same “man” who only possesses a different face each time… maybe the dysfunction lies within the woman. It is not possible for a woman to run away from herself, but it is possible for her to run from a good relationship and a good man because she doesn’t have the romantic education to sustain the relationship. Which is completely understandable!

Our Baby Boomer mothers and Gen X mothers are derelict in their duty to educate young women on mate selection and retention. A modern Western woman is born to a mother who expects grandchildren one day, yet will not tell her how to “get a man,” nor how to “keep a man.” The girl is expected to simply know these things as she becomes a woman. This is very poor mothering. However, some mothers don’t have the knowledge to bestow to their little women because unfortunately, they never figured out dating themselves.

Women are culture makers and statistically the primary caregivers across all cultures. The state of modern dating is in the hands of women as we raise the next generation who will venture off to pair up with one another—hopefully, if we can get our act together collectively as women, wives, and mothers. Grandmothers and Mothers have always had a cultural duty and obligation to inform their young women of mate selection and retention. It seems only recently we have forgotten our way in a social media-altered dating landscape coupled with a woman’s unprecedented economic independence and mobility. We have forgotten the feminine spirit of romance.

This is where I come in.

I am a modern woman with traditional values who has made a lot of mistakes along the way. I am by no means a romantic expert, but I am a romantically curious woman who went out of her way to create the following system to educate other women:

For the past two years, I created social media platforms and crafted them in a way to facilitate romantic discourse. I have multiple platforms that focus on women, but greatly welcome the input of men. I have interviewed wives with varying dynamics in their marriages who have been married much longer than myself. I speak with husbands and wives regularly to gather field reports on what makes a marriage work and what fosters dysfunction in a union. I seek to take all of these conversations from the past two years and put them together to give advice to others that will sometimes miss but will other times hit.

It only takes one functional piece of advice to improve a relationship marginally. If you add up functional and applicable bits of advice over the course of a year, you can find your relationship improving in greater percentages.

Currently, there is no space in mainstream media for women possessing traditional and/or conventional values who want to select an optimal mate and retain that same mate. But, there is NOW a space in independent media for these women to exchange notes. Click the button below to check out my biggest platform:

Modern dating advice for women is severely lacking. If you haven’t noticed, women live in a much more emotional reality that differs significantly from a logical reality. This means women often give each other impractical dating advice that is not rooted in reality. It is best to hear about mate retention from wives, not your single girlfriend on her third “situationship” for the year.

Women, I am telling you, that girlfriend (whose advice never works) wants you to stay single so she has someone to be with on Thirsty Thursdays. If you were to find a man, keep him, marry him, and have children with him, she would be alone that Thursday night because she can’t even get a man to converse with her outside of the hopes of a lay. She is that dysfunctional.

It is time to fire your girlfriends with bad dating advice and join the #PickMeNation.

◆◆◆

Are you a Christian woman who feels LOST in modern dating? If that is you, I highly recommend the course Simply Smitten, developed by Bernadine. Bernadine is a mother of 5, a wife of over ten years, and her husband delivered their last TWO babies HIMSELF! Bernadine prays over every single female student who enrolls in her course and is passionate about helping Christian single women find the husband of their dreams.

Click here to access the course! Use Coupon Code “REALFEM” for 20% off at checkout!