I don't feel like being online right now.

I would rather bake bread and play with my baby.

I don’t have the mental energy to write a particular zingy title and subtitle. This will be a quick one—I’ve taken a break and cut back on social media content creation and consumption again. As always, I never think this sort of thing is permanent. After all, I started making social media content because I had so many ideas that I couldn’t sleep for two weeks, and this nagging voice kept telling me to make a YouTube channel. So I did, and I became wildly successful on there within a year, although I haven’t been doing much with it these days. I would love to do more with it, but for right now, life is too good to be online.

The Lord has radically worked in my life to improve it. I’m seeing my mental health improve, my marriage improve, life tastes sweeter, and I finally have a village of women around me. The “village” that most wives and mothers lament about not having online has always been a revealed preference to me that when women do not need each other for survival, they do not serve each other. They do not know how to love one another selflessly—even the Christian™️ ones.

The work required to build and sustain a village would not appeal to most women because marriage and motherhood are already taxing. Adding sisterhood on top of those duties in an era when women generally lack grace toward others is a burden too heavy for most women. I don’t even see it as a burden. Sometimes, I don’t serve without grumbling because I am tired for one reason or another (ex: pregnancy, lack of sleep, etc.), but I am always happy to have served in hindsight, even if I was so exhausted. It’s a lot like going to the gym when you don’t feel like it. The hardest part is driving there, but once you’re done working out, you’re grateful you did it.

In my personal group, the women I know are predominantly Christian, wives, mothers, or are single and desiring marriage and motherhood regardless. Even single and childless women of young and old enjoy being involved, including empty nesters.

As for my mental health and marriage, the Lord is starting to provide comfort in those areas as well. This is not to describe my marriage as difficult, but just to say that I was not trained in wifeliness at all, and I find the role far more confusing than motherhood—but, my muddled mind is simplifying in that arena, making it much easier to understand that marriage is a skill. Obviously, with improved mental health often comes improved interpersonal relationships—but my point is that I am having extraordinary revelations back-to-back in my real life. I’ve learned to see everything as a skill.

Motherhood, marriage, spirituality, friendships, emotional regulation, social courage—they are all skills. Approaching being a wife as a skill has been psychologically beneficial for me. “How can I get to know my husband better today?” “How can I be a better listener?” “How can I be more emotionally available to my husband?” It doesn’t feel like something you either get or don’t anymore, but rather a craft to hone. Which is far less intimidating for me to pursue.

So, I don’t feel like being online much right now. When you’re trying to spread positivity and truth, a lot of content creation is throwing pearls before swine. Just the other day, I had a female conservative content creator direct message me expletives in response to my statement that massive neglect of the fertile window by women has led to the prevalence of IVF use far more than toxin exposure. This woman is a real character, as most content creators are. They’re strange people, and I don’t like most of them as I have met enough to know something narcissistic draws people to content creation. I have seen some wonderful and decent people become terrible over meager followings, and from my perspective, we’re all going to die one day. Why choose dopamine and fans over a real life where you glance over and catch a glimpse of your husband and children napping together while you move on to prepare fresh bread and soup for them for the evening?

It just doesn’t make sense to me. I’m not saying I’m a morally superior woman (I could always be better), but we are all mortal. Time is our most depreciating asset, and I’ve seen several RW e-girls choose likes over life. It’s unfortunate because most of them won’t have followings at a later age. They’ve invested their best years on something foolish with phone addictions that deluded them from anything concrete, and eventually, they will have to confront their lack of substance.

Moving on, here are two recipes I have tried and enjoyed lately:

• Sourdough English Muffins

• Italian White Bean and Sausage Soup

Additionally, I am 30 weeks pregnant and enjoying nesting as a soon-to-be mom of two, Lord-willing. This week, I have friends coming over to help me with food prep for the postpartum period, donate hand-me-down baby clothes, and get rid of excess material items in my home, which I find thrilling. PSA to the ladies: You don’t have to have a superficial baby shower. You can always do something much more practical.

I put effort into the culture war, but I think I’ll wait until another election year to get back into it. I would like to go back to making YouTube videos in a confessional style where I talk about the lessons I’ve been learning, but that’s a vulnerable thing to do, and I’m not sure I have the mental toughness to take that on right now.

The Vibe Shift is what we wanted—and it’s here now. I’d like to rest and welcome a new life into the world. I hope to get the job done way better this time than last time and leave the Culture War to others for the time being.

God bless you.

HERE is the baby registry for the new baby if you would like to donate to our family.